but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
You SHOULD feel empty, we were at the top of our game, and by that i mean snorting things we don't understand and only a few steps away from adultery.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
It's official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
i need to get crying drunk at the bar more often. i end up going home with guys who have big penises. its like God is saying "there, there, this will cheer you up".
Randomize
