i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
is this the sara with the beer cane?
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Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
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We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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