considering you've had every STD known to man, you think if i sent you a picture of my dick (no homo) you could tell me whats growing on it?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
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