all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I know it's like I wanna bring somebody fun who I haven't drunkenly expressed my feelings for. Or hooked up with. It's a struggle.
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
Randomize
