This is not my ceiling
Where are you? I just made a vodka + cranberry & I’m going to drive there & throw it in your face
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
