I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Hey was my sperm eye the same day I crapped myself?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
