need another drink. this is the easiest way
All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Just because the energy drink is shaped like a grenade doesnt make it cool to throw it and yell "BOOM" and break my flatscreen, asshole
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
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