Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I was the king of the handle race. My team finished it in 56 minutes.
you don't get it. Nobody wins a handle race. there just degrees of losing.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
So last night I kicked a beer can off of a frat guys head and it nailed one of my sisters in the face. Think i'll be brought up on standards?
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
After sending me a dick pic, he asked, "yay or nay?"
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
WTF. I was 99% sure I went straight home last night. I just woke up hugging a chair, and my tux pocket has a flask filled with what I think is red bull and gatorade. This has to be your doing.
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
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