I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I hope you dream of an avalanche of penises
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
