I was taking a piss and started puking. I pissed myself and made a mess in the bathroom. Passed out, then got up and went back out from 11pm to 5am.
I changed 4 diapers and slept horribly in our hot apt. Now, I'm at my inlaws house watching the Rangers get pummeled. Oh how our lives differ.
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
You know you love balls. Don't act all "I-Don't-Love-Balls-ish"
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
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How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Ohh man do you know how awkward it is to keep eye contact and have a normal conversation with someone while their hand is in your vagina?
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
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So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
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