Its about making memories worth repressing
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
False alarm I know hes alive because when i tried shaking him awake he pissed his pants and rolled over..
Found her. Shes unconscious up against the room door. Her credit card is in the keycard slot
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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