tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think theres a high possibility i could be flammable.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
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