ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Randomize
