Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Well its official, I'm into significantly freakier sex than even I thought possible.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
