Pish posh, there's never a bad time to eat food off my body.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
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she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I don't want my vagina anymore.
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
He was cute in a Sketchy-trying-to-sell-you-a-vaccum-at-9-at-night kinda way.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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