Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
