Where is the hickey?
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
Randomize
