my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
At least you get to smell pizza at your job. I just smell despair all day long.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
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