I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
well you can't waste a boner
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
Some people say 6pm is too early to get drunk. To them I say this dinner is delicious.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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