would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
There was a photo of his face glued to a lifesize Kim Kardashian cutout. By the end of the night he was doing shots out of medicine cups and making everybody hug it goodbye.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
