Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
I've got two reasons for you to come over later and one of them is pierced.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
