shes about as inviting as chlamydia
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
I finally had sex with him last night, but we used a condom so it doesn't add to my number of sexual partners.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
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