Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Randomize
