i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Randomize
