yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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