This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
honey bunches of taint.
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
Randomize
