She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
