We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
