Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
He's sending me pics of Yellowstone scenery...the only thing I can think is "I would have sex next to that waterfall"
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
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