u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Contents of my pockets this morning: phone, condom, one hoop earring, half a cheeseburger, lighter and a $87 receipt from tacobell. Time for work.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
there is another microwave in the elevator.
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