so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i just traded a sweatshirt for margaritas... why did they ever stop using the barter system??!!
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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