went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
Randomize