Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
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I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I have so many feelings about this burrito
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
That means I have to put pants on. That is not something I am willing to do right now.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
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