We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Then she opened the door and pitched the dead squirrel out, yelling "TELL THE OTHERS WHAT YOU SAW"
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
there is glitter all over my balls
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
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