so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
We duck taped Dave to a rolling chair and shoved him in the bed of the truck then took off for a bit.. We didn't explain it that way when the nurse asked what happened though.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
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