Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
the homeless guy was waiting for me this morning. this is the closest to a boyfriend ive had in years.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize
