Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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