well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I think there's an ice cream truck out back, but there's no way I can get pants on in time to catch it
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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