Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I just cut my nipple shaving
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize