My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
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