what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
sexting loses it's worth when you accidentally text your boss.
He's taking me to Burger King to celebrate losing my virginity..
REAL PEOPLE DRINK 3 BEERS ALONE WILL WATCHING THE LIFETIME MOVIE ABOUT PRINCE WILLIAM AND KATE MIDDLETON
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
