Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
It's hard for me to sext him when the picture i see on my phone when he texts me is his facebook default of him and his girlfriend.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Just got a 200 dollar safe, two jars, and a 500 pack of rubber bands.. This doesn't SCREAM drug dealer does it?
...you should fill the cart some more
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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