I'm so fucking centered right now
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I'm getting flash backs of last night. They're coming in song form.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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