just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Everyone says I win the strip club
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
Randomize
