i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I drunk dialed my ex-boyfriend last night. He was sitting next to my new boyfriend. Shoot me in the face.
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize