please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Conversations we need to have while high 1) how mermaids reproduce 2) if blind people hallucinate what do they see 3) reincarnation
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
I do remember that in my dream I wasn't impressed with his dick.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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