The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
She offered to massage my back by hitting it with a sparkly purple double dildo... Bi chicks can get creepy
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
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