3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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