Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
