Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
well smoking weed has become a deal breaker for me so I pretty much use "let's go smoke a blunt" as an icebreaker
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Pandora played an ad for a free trial for an abortion pill if you’ve had unprotected sex in the last 2-3 days and then Lucky came on... I literally am dying laughing
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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