It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I just saw a guy getting escorted with handcuffs on, I'm too drunk to be at the airport right now.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
Randomize
