First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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