so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
