They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
