Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the last thing I heard was you screaming as the rodeo team herded you to the next party
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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